Aren’t We [a little] Naughty

My two friends and I did something a little naughty…

One thing on my growing list of things to do was to go to a sex shop. A little odd for me to want to do that, but why not? I’m a very curious person and sex shops spark my curiosity. I had this perception of them being dark and sketchy; with items hidden with curtains or in special rooms; and a place for creepy middle-aged men to spend their free time. It was time to—once and for all—see for myself.

Okay, I admit we didn’t visit the small and shady-looking sex shops in our hometown. Instead, we went to an upscale sex shop called “Aren’t We Naughty” two towns away but it was a sex shop nonetheless.

How did we find this store? Well, it’s impossible to miss when you’re driving east or west on the highway. It’s right next to the highway and is clearly visible with its cherry icon, red and black colour theme and the windows framed with sexy men and women.

On the way to the store that afternoon, one friend said she googled the store to see what she was getting herself into. I contemplated that but I wanted to be surprised. Just before getting out of the car, I jokingly said I saw someone I knew. Imagine that? It would be so awkward to find anyone I knew there. So before entering the shop, I had to take a deep breath. We walked inside and I was in awe… then I started to smile and giggle because I couldn’t believe I was inside a sex shop. Me of all people! I’m the girl that always thought of doing crazy shit (pardon my “French” as one friend jokingly says after she swears) but would never do it.

Surprisingly, I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Being inside felt like being inside any female clothing store. It was big, bright, warm, organized and with plenty of room to walk around freely. To be honest, it was more inviting than being inside a Victoria’s Secret store. The employees were all female and all friendly. Just before going inside, I told my friends that if anyone asks, we are *wink wink* looking for a birthday gift for a friend. Thankfully, no employee asked what we were looking for but just offered any assistance.

The first half of the sex shop is what you’d expect to see like lingerie, porn videos and magazines, male and female thongs. But the back half of the store is where all of the interesting stuff to look at is. I was so amazed and confused by the array of sex toys and other bizarre items they had. Lower-half body replicas, body building penis gadget, anal beads, sex furniture, organic lubricants, eco-friendly and weird-shaped vibrators, etc. Even the names of products were hilarious like “Upstairs Downstairs” and “Nipplettes.” Btw, did you knew there are categories for orgasms? Unreal.

I made sure to look at—even touch—many random things in the sex shop to satisfy my curiosity. I wanted to take a short video like I did for my first jogging experience, but the other customers left so we were the only ones there for some time. I must admit, it was weird having the employees constantly looking at us.

As we were leaving, I was still in awe of my experience. The first thing I said to my friends was “My mind is blown” [if you get the silly pun]. We sat in the car for 5 minutes thinking of where to go next but I was still taking it all in. One thing we did agree upon was that it was the perfect place to creep on people. During those 5 minutes, it was so interesting to see who walked into the sex shop. First a young couple, then an old man, and then a father and his teenage son.

All in all, a great first experience. Maybe the small and shady-looking sex shops have totally different atmospheres than this one did, but until next time. One thing I can take away from this is that sex toys and products are dammmmmnnnn expensive. I didn’t buy anything. My friend suggested getting something as a souvenir, but who knows, I might have to return in the future for bachelorette party planning.

Just on a side note, I apologize for the number of times I said “sex shop.” This will hopefully be the only time you’ll be reading those words repeatedly.