What’s Up, Doc?

I have a doctor! It’s been a long time coming—about 3 years to be exact. When you turn 18, you lose your family doctor that you had growing up. Now that you are an adult, you have personal responsibilities like seeking a doctor to look at your personal areas without having your parents there in the room.

I’ve been pretty normal in the health department for several years [with the exception of a couple of trips to the clinic for an injury and something else I cannot remember] so I haven’t had a need to go miles to see my family doctor. Speaking of which, Dr. Lee is a 40-minute drive away. Too far. From where we lived 11 years ago, it was a 15-minute drive. Have you seen the gas prices lately?

Now my siblings and I are all 18 or over. It’s been time for a new family doctor. My mom recently found a new doctor [as hers too was a long drive away] and she has been converting the rest of us. My older brother had already registered a long time ago. With my dad’s personal doctor retiring and with me without a doctor, it was about time. So we drove 10 minutes to a big building called THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE [they couldn’t have been more obvious with the giant bold letters that a person with terrible vision couldn’t miss].

I got up late that day. For some reason, there are so many nights where I wake up at least 3 times. Once around 7/8. Then around 9/10. And finally around 11/12 when I realize, “Shit! I just wasted half the day! Time to get up and do something!” My parents told me the appointment was at 3 so I did whatever I needed to do to be ready before then. I was ready by 2:15. We got there at 3:10. I thought we were late. We sign in with the receptionist and we are told to wait. While waiting, I ask my mom why we have to wait if we have an appointment. Then she tells me the appointment is actually at 3:45.

I am pissed. I have to sit in a waiting room for probably another hour (We actually did wait a full hour until finally seeing the doctor) after having already been waiting an hour just to go to the doctor’s office. Not to mention I planned my eating schedule. I had a late breakfast at 1:15 (after my jog) and I was expecting to have lunch at 4 when we got home. Therefore my stomach was rumbling the entire time. While we were waiting, my dad kept suggesting fast food places to quickly grab something to eat. “Panzerotti.” “MC [McDonald’s].” “Taco Bell.” Honestly, it doesn’t help the doctor’s office to be surrounded by at least 10 restaurants with foods you shouldn’t be eating. What was my mom doing while waiting? She was on Facebook. Not so typical. What was I doing? Playing sudoku. Not so typical either.

A Filipino woman escorts us to the room where we are told to wait again for the doctor. As she takes us, I whisper to my mom “Say something so she knows we’re Filipino.” My mom says nothing. I am quite disappointed. So we sit in the waiting room for the doctor to come in. What does my dad do? He jokes and pretends to be the doctor. I sit on top of that paper lining and he pretends to check my blood pressure. Then I suddenly realize I have to pee. Bad timing, I know. Not only do I hope the doctor doesnt start without me, but I am worried about using the washroom at the doctor’s office where there is a possibility that sick people were in there and I could get sick. I am cautious as hell. I return and thankfully the doctor isn’t there. We sit waiting again This time, what does my dad do? He naps. I don’t know how he does it but he fully fell asleep.

We finally see the doctor. She stands beside me. Not a good place considering my stomach was rumbling. We each go through medical history, register on a form and that’s it. Conclusion: I have a new doctor and I have to get a check-up and physical exam ASAP. I’ve never had a physical done before. The closest thing has been when I was 13 or so and Dr. Lee wanted to check to make sure puberty and mother nature were doing their thing. I’m nervous to get it all done, but I want it done because I want to know if there is anything wrong so it can be dealt with now rather than any later.

As we leave, we pass by the Filipino nurse again. This time, the nurse says something in tagalog to my parents. How does my mom respond? My mom says “Thank you” instead of “Salamat” in tagalog. WTH!?!?! I’m not impressed by that. Even the nurse was confused. At that moment, she thought we weren’t Filipino and started talking to us like a white person. Then, just before we go out the door, my mom goes to her and asks for our doctor’s business card… and she said it in tagalog. FINALLY.

We get into the car and I ask where we are going to eat. My parents’ two choices made me laugh: McDonald’s or fish and chips. We just came from the doctor’s and they want something that could send them back there.